Yup – the title pretty much sums up how I felt when I left the gym today.
As I am sure you are all fully aware now, and probably bored of hearing about, I have a knee injury. 5 weeks ago I was finishing up my last interval run and my knee just gave way and twisted and it was agony. I didn’t think too much of it and I thought as long as I rested it, it would be fine in a week. A week passed and there was not even a remote bit of improvement. The doctor said it might take a bit longer to heal, so I listened and stayed off it for another 4 weeks, which leads us to today – 5 weeks after the injury.
To be totally honest, it still wasn’t feeling any better, but I was getting so annoyed that I couldn’t work out the way I wanted to that I decided to go to the gym and see what I could do – I thought that some exercise might help it. I was still going to take it easy and start off walking on and incline and then see how I felt about running. The walk was fine, so fine that I thought I would kick it up and run.
Before I got the knee injury, I had worked my way up to running for 20 minutes straight. That was a huge achievement for me coming from being a complete beginner. Today – I could only run for 5 minutes. I ran for 5 minutes and then I just couldn’t push any further, so I stopped. It wasn’t even my knee that stopped me – it was my head as usual. Working my way up to the 20 minute run was more of a mental battle than a physical one.
So, I ran the 5 minutes and then I did a 3 minute walk before I felt ready to run again. Cue even more frustration. One of the biggest changes I found with my running improving, was how much less recovery time I needed. I was fine with 30 seconds recovery 5 weeks ago, now I need 3 minutes again?! Great!
I then attempted another 5 minute run, but this time it was my knee that stopped me again. It gave way. Not in the same way it did before, but enough to make me stop running.
Frustrated, Angry, Annoyed and Deflated!
I feel like I have lost about 10 weeks as 10 weeks ago I had just run for 5 minutes for the first time and now I am back there and I can’t even do that properly because of my knee.
I have bitten the bullet and got the number of a physio to go and see. I have put it off because, well, we all think we know our own bodies better than someone else does. I thought I just needed rest, but after 5 weeks rest and no improvement, I need to see someone about it.
I just feel so angry that I can’t do what I want to do. I spent years being overweight and putting off exercising and getting healthy and now that I have the drive to do that, my body doesn’t want to co-operate with me. Will I even be able to run properly again? I never even managed to run a 5K – I feel like I have failed myself. I feel like I am going backwards when all I want to do is move forward and reach my goals
*20 minutes later*
So, I wrote all of the above and then I read it back and I sat here and thought about it for a little while. I then realised that I need to practice what I preach. Thinking negative things and being angry with myself are not going to get me anywhere. I need to focus on the good things – like the fact that I was able to run for 5 minutes today. Even if it was just once, 5 minutes is better than no minutes and I should be pleased with that after a injury. No more pity party for me. I will go to the physio and see what they say and then take it from there. There is no good getting all worked up about it before I know what is wrong with it, and if I will be able to run properly again. If I can’t, well, I will deal with that then.
In the mean time, it is back to focusing on the exercises I can do, focusing on nutrition and trying to be as positive as I can about it.
Photo Source: Zazzle.com
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi I too have suffered a knee injury. I pushed myself since i was training for a race. I managed to run my 1/2 of a 1/2 and started physio the next business day. I had to stop all running for 8 weeks. It was hard at first but I quickly realized I needed to fix my body mechanics to strengthen my legs. With a great physio and strictly follow the exercises I could see the improvements which made it worth while to continue. Biking was my alternative that I was allowed to do. Now i have been given the green light to start back slowly and I, like you, have lost all the distance and endurance I had worked up to. But I still think it was worth it. I have a better understanding of my body and it’s strengths and what to watch for to treat it right. Keep your chin up and work as hard on getting your leg better as you did on your new healthy lifestyle and you will have no problem succeeding!
Hi there, I´m sorry about your knee. I know how it is to be injured and not be able to stay active. I remember crying my eyes out when I seriously sprained my ankle and couldn´t run or dance for a time. But I just wanted to say sounds like you could benefit from a yoga swing. Think about it: low impact fitness that you could combine with your normal fitness routines. I posted this on your fb post, but thought I would give it a mention here too. It´s a great tool for folks with injuries who still want to keep up strength and flexibilty. Keep up the good work
My dad runs and he had physio on his knee after an injury, it really worked and he was back running in no time, hes done a half marathon since then so hopefully you will recover as quickly as he did!
Heal quickly!
I am here! I brought carrots sticks and dip for the party
Having an injury when you want to work out is very frustrating. But sometimes you just need to respect your body’s need to heal. I haven’t been able to work out since July or even walk for more than 10 minutes in 5 weeks because of an injury. (Herniated disks and now 6 months pregnant too). Over training probably contributed to that. I’m just trying to focus on eating healthy and healing, it sucks but it’s better than surgery or something like cancer, right?
This posts shows just how human you are. We all get angry sometimes and need to vent. Thank you for sharing. I hope your knee recovers quickly.
I wish I could run for 5 minutes. I can’t even run for 1 minute. You should feel proud of how far you can run. I hope you feel better soon x
I feel your frustration. I have been there and it is tough to cope with, but you need to get it checked out.
Ow, Dannii. Big hug for you. I know you must feel frustrated, but you have not let yourself down. You have achieved so much.